“How to Hold Onto Your Light When the Room Gets Dark”

June 25, 2025

Read Time: 5 minutes

If you’ve ever been the target of subtle sabotage, strategic exclusion, or performative allyship, you know how hard it is to hold your ground without losing yourself.

Being "the light" is not a euphemism. It’s real labor.

And when people in power begin to dim that light, through gossip, erasure, or engineered failure, the natural response is to either shrink or shine even harder.

But there’s a third path: anchoring. That means keeping your light intact regardless of what’s swirling around you.

The Tools That Keep You Anchored

Emotional regulation. Intentional detachment. Ritual.

None of these are just buzzwords. They are practical strategies for navigating toxic environments without becoming toxic yourself.

Here’s what anchoring looks like in real time:

• Taking a walk around the block instead of firing off a defensive email.

• Saying “I’ll revisit this tomorrow” instead of spiraling into self-doubt at 2 a.m.

• Praying or meditating before that performance review with a known manipulator.

• Calling a trusted friend or mentor after a gaslighting conversation, not for permission, but for perspective.

You don't win by matching their energy. You win by protecting yours.

Call to Action

Create a personal “resilience ritual” for moments of challenge. Choose one practice to do every day, even on the good days: a centering breath, a voice memo to yourself, a 60-second body scan, a playlist that reminds you who you are. Treat it like brushing your teeth—a non-negotiable.

Also, write a note to yourself to keep in your wallet, desk, or lock screen. Something like: “I anchor in clarity. I do not argue with chaos. I stay lit.”

Words of Wisdom

"You don’t owe anyone your silence just because they’re loud. Your light is not seasonal. Protect it."