“You’re Not ‘Too Much.’ You’re Just Not Easily Controlled.”

Justine Jones
Jul 9
2 min read

July 9, 2025

Read Time: 5 minutes

Let’s get this straight: the phrase “too much” has less to do with your volume and everything to do with your autonomy. People rarely say you’re “too much” when you’re conforming. They say it when you’re inconvenient to control, too aware to manipulate, too honest to gaslight, and too grounded to guilt.

This phrase is a silencing tactic, a coded way of saying, “We’re uncomfortable with how unapologetically you take up space.”

But you taking up space is not the problem. The spaces being too small is.

What They Call Too Much Is Often Power in Motion

Have you noticed:

When you set a boundary, you’re labeled as combative?
When you speak with authority, you’re called intimidating?
When you stay calm under pressure, they say you’re cold or unfeeling?

All of this is projection. What they’re really saying is, “You’re not reacting the way I expected, and that threatens the dynamics I’m used to.”

It is easier for some people to label your strength as a flaw than to do the work of unpacking their own discomfort. That’s not your burden to carry.

You Are Not for Everyone—And That’s Strategy, Not Flaw

You are not required to make yourself more digestible to fragile egos or perform emotional labor for those avoiding accountability.

Being unmanageable by toxic systems is not a deficit. It’s a design feature. And the more you honor it, the more space you make for others to do the same.

Call to Action

Today, write your “Power Permission Slip.” Make it bold. Make it real. Make it yours. Examples:

“I give myself permission to take up space, speak with authority, and stay rooted in truth, even if it makes others uncomfortable.”
“I am no longer shrinking to survive. I expand to thrive.”
“I do not owe likability to systems that have no love for my liberation.”

Tape it to your mirror. Speak it aloud until your nervous system believes it.

Words of Wisdom

"You weren’t born to fit the frame. You were born to build the blueprint."