“What They Saw in You —Before You Even Saw It Yourself”

June 18, 2025

Read Time: 5 minutes

Have you ever wondered why someone seemed threatened by you before you'd even spoken? Why the hostility came so early, so fast, so strong, despite your attempts to be fair, professional, or collaborative?

It wasn't about what you did. It was about what you represent.

Long before we step into our full power, others often sense it. They can smell potential. Confidence. Leadership. Self-trust. And for those who build their identity around control or status, your presence disrupts the ecosystem.

They React to What You Haven’t Even Claimed Yet

You might have walked in trying to learn. They reacted like you were there to lead. You might have been listening. They responded like you were taking notes for a takeover.

That isn’t paranoia. It’s pattern recognition.

When your very existence challenges the unspoken hierarchy, especially if you're a woman, a person of color, or someone who defies conventional authority norms, people will try to make you doubt yourself before you fully arrive.

But don’t let it shake you. Let it inform you.

Instead of internalizing the resistance, ask: What did they see in me that I hadn’t yet seen in myself? What were they trying to protect from my presence? What power were they preemptively punishing me for?

Recognizing False Humility as Self-Erasure

We've been taught to be humble. But humility does not mean erasure. It does not mean dimming your light because others squint in the brightness. Real humility is grounded—but it also knows when to stand tall.

Don’t miss the message hidden in the backlash. They saw you. And that means it’s time for you to see yourself.

Call to Action

Reflect on three past professional or personal situations where you faced sudden pushback, microaggressions, or exclusion. Rather than analyze what you did "wrong," write down what those reactions might have revealed about your strengths, presence, or potential.

• Were you confident in a space that relied on conformity?

• Did you question a system that others depended on to remain unchallenged?

• Did you carry a calm that unnerved those invested in chaos?

Write a short paragraph affirming each of those traits as valid, valuable, and yours to keep.

Words of Wisdom

"Sometimes your greatness is clearer in other people’s eyes long before it’s clear in your own. Don’t shrink to make them more comfortable."