“Stop Explaining Your Magic to People Committed to Misunderstanding It”

July 2, 2025

Read Time: 5 minutes

There’s a point in your growth journey where you realize that not everyone who asks questions is looking for answers. Some are looking for loopholes. Some are listening only to poke holes in your clarity. Some already know what you’re capable of, and they’re hoping you’ll be the last one to find out.

If you've ever sat in a meeting, relationship, or leadership role where your ideas were dismissed only to be regurgitated later by someone else—and praised—you know this truth all too well:

Your magic isn't confusing. It’s inconvenient.

It’s inconvenient for those who rely on confusion to maintain control. Inconvenient for those who benefit from you doubting yourself. Inconvenient for people who built a career, reputation, or identity around gatekeeping and deflection.

So they pretend they don't understand you. They ask for clarification on things they already comprehend. They demand receipts when what they really want is retreat.

But you don’t have to perform clarity for those who are invested in distortion.

Recognize the Pattern: Not All Misunderstanding Is Innocent

There are sincere misunderstandings, moments when communication misses the mark. Those deserve care, repair, and dialogue.

But there’s another kind: intentional misinterpretation. That kind uses confusion as a tactic to slow you down, strip your confidence, or bait you into defensiveness.

And if you’ve been conditioned—especially as a woman or person of color—to prove yourself constantly, you may not even notice how often you’re overexplaining your legitimacy instead of leading from it.

Here’s the Truth:

• You are not obligated to break down your brilliance for those weaponizing willful ignorance.

• You are not responsible for managing other people’s comfort with your clarity.

• You do not have to make your strategy palatable to those invested in the status quo.

You’re here to move the needle, not spin your wheels.

Call to Action

This week, notice where you’re overexplaining. Who are you trying to convince? Who are you trying to reassure? And most importantly—why?

Replace the next long-winded justification with a boundary. Practice saying:

• "That direction aligns with the strategy I’ve laid out."

• "I’ve made the call, and I stand by it."

• "I’m confident in the approach, and time will show the results."

Now, write a personal creed to revisit when you're tempted to overexplain. Something like: “I don’t owe exhaustive proof to people committed to misunderstanding me. I let my results, my integrity, and my alignment speak louder than my explanations.”

Words of Wisdom

When you keep trying to prove yourself to people who are committed to misreading you, you stop creating and start performing. And performance is exhausting. Choose purpose instead.